On September 29, when I first started writing my diary, I asked God to fill me with His righteousness. I started reading “Heroes of the Faith” by the Institute of Basic Life Principles. I started with the life of Oswald Chambers. Then, just today as I walked into Wal Mart, there right in front of me on a bookshelf was Oswald Chamber’s book “My Utmost for HIs Highest.” I was thrilled. I believe that God had it placed there just for me in order to answer my prayer. The book was written by his wife after his death. It is a daily devotional taken from his sermons. When I got home I immediately started reading Chamber’s book. He talked about how we must obey the little things we know before God will give us more light. The next day I read more of Oswald Chamber’s life from the “Heroes of the Faith.” I read part two called “Blessed are they that Mourn.” Oswald talked about how he asked God to anoint him with the Holy Spirit and how all of a sudden he realized how vile and wicked he was, and how unlike Christ he was. I see this in my own life. I pray and ask God to fill me with His righteousness and as soon as I’m called upon to demonstrate Christ’s love I fail. I have the wrong attitude and the wrong motives. How unlike Christ I am, and the more I strive for perfection the farther away I see that I am. O Lord, forgive me, teach me thy ways, and create in me a clean heart. “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24).